Talk with your parents about assisted living

How To Talk With Your Parents About Assisted Living

Seeing your parents age and struggling with simple tasks is difficult. But, talking with them about assisted living doesn’t have to be. We’ve put together some tips to help you begin that conversation to help your parents see the many benefits a move to assisted living can bring.

How Do You Bring Up The Idea of Assisted Living to Your Parents?

The best way is to give examples of how their daily lives will be better. As people age, there are many household chores that they may not want to do anymore, like housekeeping, yard work and cooking. Assisted living communities can take care of a lot of those chores for them.

Also, assisted living communities are licensed healthcare providers. Your parents can get help with health-related issues and everyday activities they may struggle with, like bathing, getting dressed or taking their medication.

A move to assisted living can help your parents
with things they need and free up time to do the things they want


What If Mom Feels Like You Are Taking Control of Her Life?

Your best approach here is to focus on telling her how you feel, not what she should do.

Using language like “you should…” or “you need to…” will oftentimes make mom feel defensive. Use “what if…” language instead.

Express why you are concerned about her health or safety. And, try to offer information that she can look at to learn more. Encourage her to keep an open mind and assure her that the final decision is hers to make.

Most assisted living communities will allow your parents
to choose exactly what they want assistance with, and
to adjust their care plans if their needs change.


My Parents Are Afraid of Losing Their Independence

When your parents get help with daily activities and cut out household chores, they’ll likely find they actually have more time and energy to do the things they really care about.

Each assisted living community offers the chance for them to live exactly how they want. Whether they want a quiet night in watching a movie, or they want to attend a group activity, it’s all there for them.


But, My Dad Says He’s OK on His Own

Your parents may actually feel isolated and lonely at home, even if they don’t want to talk about it or admit it.

Moving to an assisted living community can help them connect with other people and keep them active. The truth is, many other seniors are also looking to make connections to avoid feeling lonely and isolated and these communities are perfect for making those connections.

Also, knowing that 24-hour medical assistance is available can also give you peace of mind and help your parents feel safer.


What If Mom Isn’t Convinced a Move Is Right For Her?

Many times change happens gradually and your parents have been just “dealing with” them on their own for some time.

Ask them some questions that they might not have considered like:

  • Can you do everyday tasks easily? Without assistance?
  • Are you eating as healthy or as well as you should be?
  • Do you always feel safe in your home? How about when you’re running errands?
  • Do you wish there were more people around to talk with?

Have them take a closer look at these questions and help them consider how their lives might be better with a little assistance.


How Will They Pay For This?How to pay for assisted living

The cost for assisted living communities vary by location and the level of care and other services needed.

For more information about payment options that may be available for your parents you can check out this article, How to Pay For Assisted Living.

It’s important to discuss payment options with your parents and the assisted living communities you’re looking at together.


What Should We Be Looking For in an Assisted Living Community?

First of all, find out from your parents what is most important to them. Then, you can find communities that offer those options.

  • Do they want a full-size kitchen where they can cook, or do they want to have meals prepared for them?
  • Is it important for them to have a second bedroom or would a studio make it easier to maneuver in?
  • Does the community have scheduled transportation for them to run errands? Or, is there a parking lot for their car if they still drive?
  • Do they need/want assistance with laundry and housekeeping?
  • How about an on-site beautician? Wellness classes or a gym? Social activities? A place to have coffee or enjoy snacks?

Take some time to find a community with amenities and layouts that best meet the needs of your parents. The easiest way to do this is to work with a senior living referral service like Senior Living Options of the Desert. They know which amenities and services are offered at each community and they know the local area as well. They will also set up tours and take you there personally.

The best way to know if assisted living is a good fit for your parents
is to go take a look in person. Talk with the people who live there.
Ask the staff about any hesitations you have.


About Senior Living Options of the Desert

Senior Living Options of the Desert is Southern California’s leader in senior living referral. We’ve been helping families find compassionate care for their loved ones since 2004.

Whether you’re looking for independent living, assisted living, memory care, or another form of senior care, our local family advisors will help you find the right option for you and your family. Our mission is to provide families with the best residential care options based on care needs and location, no matter what the budget. And, our services are always FREE.

You can get more information at




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